You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
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The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
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Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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