I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize