Only a mothe r could love this liver
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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