i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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