I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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