Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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