put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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