youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize