My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
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