fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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