you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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