hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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