is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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