This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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