I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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