I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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