I molested 6 butterflies tonight
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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