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my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
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