i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
she looked like the before picture.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize