OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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