The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
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Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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