Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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