Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize