2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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