What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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