Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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