why didn't you poke me back
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
sex in a hospital.. check
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize