i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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