it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I think people are normalizing furries
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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