oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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