Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
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