i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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