i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize