He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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