After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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