Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize