there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
foreskin is a definite game changer
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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