My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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