Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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