You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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