You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
