Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
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HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
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This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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