I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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