If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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