Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
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I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
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College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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