As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize