She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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