I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
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So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
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My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
false alarm, still single
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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