I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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