Im at strip club and am horny
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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