ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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